Daisy Gamble, an unusual woman who hears phones before they ring, and does wonders with her flowers, wants to quit smoking to please her fiancé, Warren. She goes to a doctor of hypnosis to do it. But once she's under, her doctor finds out that she can regress into past lives and different personalities, and he finds himself falling in love with one of them.

When newly weds Jack and Peggy face eviction, they are tricked into buying a run down houseboat. After rebuilding the engine, they take their friends Sid and Sandra, on a local trip down the river to Folkestone, but somehow they end up in France, and with no fuel and supplies, they resort to desperate actions to get back home.

The priceless Blue Water sapphire is coveted by the heirs of Sir Hector Geste - his new wife, Flavia; his daughter, Isabel; and his adopted twin sons, heroic Beau and pathetic Digby. When Sir Hector takes to his deathbed (where he remains for the duration of the film), Beau absconds with the stone, to keep it from his stepmother. Flavia pursues him to North Africa, dispensing sexual favors to promote her schemes.

With a flu epidemic running rife, three new bumbling recruits are assigned to Inspector Mills police station. With help from Special Constable Gorse, they manage to totally wreck the operations of the police force and let plenty of criminals get away, even before they arrive at the station. They all have to prove themselves or else they'll be out of a job and Sergeant Wilkins will be transferred. Sub-plots include romances between Wilkins and Moon, Constable and Passworthy.